


call me friend (but keep me closer)

by knux



Category: Stranger Things (TV 2016)
Genre: Angst, Gay Mike Wheeler, Gay Will Byers, M/M, Oblivious Mike Wheeler, Pining, This Isnt About 13 Year Olds, Will is a Mess, You heard me, but hey theres a kiss right. thats canon, initial one sided relationship, is there a homophobic mike wheeler tag, my first work on here in years? angst? :), should clarify that most of my byler works have them as 16/17
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-13
Updated: 2019-07-17
Packaged: 2020-06-27 17:55:53
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,160
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19796044
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/knux/pseuds/knux
Summary: the one in which will byers willingly loses everything hes ached for in search of something real.and then, the one in which a phone call makes everything so much clearer.





	1. clouds

It had started with a drunken kiss at a party. Well, Will had been completely sober. When you've been possessed, you lose the desire to give the reins up to some part of your brain that isn’t completely you. But it wasn’t like Will had told anyone about that. Nobody had asked, really.

Regardless, it was still a sobering experience when Will had suddenly found himself with his back against the wall, Mike’s lanky body mere inches away from being pressed against his own. One of Mike’s hands had clumsily, yet gingerly cupped his face. Mike’s eyes, lids fluttering half shut every few seconds on account of his drunken state, had wandered from his best friend’s eyes to his lips. Will found that his did the same. His face had been red hot when his best friend leaned down, touching his forehead and nose to Will’s, slanted his head slightly, and kissed him right there.

It had felt real. God, it had felt real, but as Mike pulled away, Will could smell the other’s acrid breath, alcohol pulsing through his bloodstream. He wouldn’t remember this in 12 hours, Will had thought with a heavy heart.

But he did.

And it kept happening. Mike would make an excuse to somehow get alone with Will. Will’s heart would flutter, and his throat would tighten like some nervous schoolboy hyped up on adrenaline. He’d find himself gently pinned with his face cupped tenderly and his best friend’s lips either on his own or on his neck, Mike’s name shamelessly spilling off of his lips like it was a lifeline to cling to. But something would always come up. There was always a reason to never talk about it, never go any further, never be anything more than ‘friends’, or whatever the hell this was. It was frustrating, and there were many times Will wanted to end it, say something to defend his dignity, but every single goddamn time Mike kissed him it was like he had finally died and gone to heaven. His hands were soft and gentle and he tasted like honey but it was so, so, so hard to go home or go out with friends and act like nothing had happened. 

He’d had enough of pretending. He had spent too many nights with his head in his hands crying over someone who would only consider him a ‘best friend’ and asking whatever higher power at will 'why him?'. 

But the doorbell rang with a soft chime, and Will knew exactly who it was. A muffled ‘Hi, Miss Byers. Is Will home?’ sounded from the front door, sending his heart into a hurried flutter. He had a few seconds before Mike came into his room and sent the cycle aspin again. Will’s heart sank into his stomach, but before he could come up with anything, his bedroom door creaked open. 

“Hey,” came the greeting. It wasn’t anticipatory, it was soft and warm. Will mustered the courage to look his would-be lover in the eye, and he wanted to melt where he sat. Mike was lanky, but he was so pretty. He’d been pretty to Will ever since they were kids, even when Mike’s middle name was ‘Frogface’ according to every kid at school. He’d been so damn pretty and wonderful that he’d managed to cleanse Will’s soul of the Mind Flayer with just his eyes and his words.

“Can I sit down?” Mike ended the question with a small laugh. Was it a nervous laugh? Will couldn’t tell, but he smiled like a lovestruck dumbass anyways. 

“Yeah… yeah, go ahead,” Will nodded, mimicking the same short, lighthearted chuckle. Mike stepped to the side and slightly hovered over him before leaning downward, stopping a few inches before his face. He sat down last minute but not before Will’s gaze was able to linger on his lips for an achingly long heartbeat.

“And can I…?” Mike never finished his question. Like he was afraid of or even grossed out by the ramifications of letting the words out. Was it so hard to ask to kiss him? And still he said

“Yes, God, yes.”

Just like that, Mike’s hand reached for Will’s chin, and he leaned into the touch. And he let his eyes squeeze shut as those all-too-familiar lips crashed into his. And he tried to quell the rioting thoughts that screamed that this time was like every other. And he tried to swallow the lump forming in his throat. As Mike’s stray hand ran through and tugged softly on Will’s hair, Will reached up and lightly placed his hand over the other’s. But this _wouldn’t_ be any different, would it? He felt a stray tear run its course down his cheek. No, it wouldn’t. It was going to be the same. Over and over and over. It was going to be Will Byers falling for the same dull trick because he was head over heels in one-sided love. Will Byers trying to grab right onto heaven without any wings. Will Byers longing and aching for a boy in love with a girl. His throat felt too tight.

He pulled back, sucking in a shaky breath with his forehead touching Mike’s. Fuck it. “You don’t… You don’t want this-” He tried to choke out, but the words were swallowed by another kiss. Mike moved his head and began to trail kisses down his jawline and neck. Will gritted his teeth and let himself fall back into the present despite the sob threatening to rise in his throat and the tears that Mike either wasn’t aware of or was ignoring. But he’d started the conversation they’d been dancing around already, hadn’t he? If he didn’t finish it, he’d never forgive himself.

It was Will’s turn to cup his lover’s chin and meet his eyes. They were soft, but they were distant. He wasn’t here, and he wasn’t kissing Will. “Mike…” He started, eyes drifting to those lips just one more time. He’d miss it. He brushed his nose with his own and kissed Mike tenderly.

“I can’t… How long are you going to do this to me?”

Mike looked dazed, breathless. His eyebrows furrowed as if he had been hearing white noise ever since he’d sat down. “What?”

“I’m not stupid.” Will paused to suck in another breath through his teeth. It was getting hard to breathe. “You aren’t _here_ when you’re here.” He fell back a little, distancing himself from the heaven he’d desperately clawed for. “And you’re hurting me.” His voice was hoarse.

“I don’t know-”

“I’m sorry I’m not El.”

And then it seemed to click for Mike. He fell dead silent, eyes darkening as he looked away. Will couldn’t bear to see it. He let his face fall into his hands. 

It was silent for what felt like a year, but then Mike shifted on the bed. He had risen to his feet. Will finally mustered the courage to look up with his bleary, slightly puffy eyes, but Mike was still not looking at him. Distant.

“I’m sorry, I gotta…” Mike didn’t finish the sentence. He just took a few steps, opened the bedroom door, and he was gone. Will heard a sickeningly fake ‘Bye Miss Byers!’, and the front door slammed shut.

Fuck. The room seemed impossibly big and yet way too fucking small. He wanted to scream. He shakily rose to his feet to close his bedroom door himself, and then every single atom inside of him shattered like fragile glass under the crushing and sudden force of a swinging hammer. His soul felt more frayed and utterly devastated than it had been during his possession, but Jesus Christ how could that be possible? He had been so fucking naive. 

But he just felt so frail. Will climbed under his sheets, a spot still warm from where Mike had been. He shrunk away from it like he would poison. His painfully silent sobs wracked his entire body as if someone were shaking him. His trembling hands wiped the streams of tears from his eyes.

Why was it so painful to fall from heaven when he hadn’t even touched it?


	2. clarity

Will hadn’t seen Mike in four days. He was, to put it bluntly, a fucking disaster, and not even Jonathan or his own mother could get a word out of him about it. It felt bad, yeah, but what would he tell them? That he’d been swapping spit with his childhood best friend for weeks without any word? Yeah, _right_. His mother wouldn’t let him out of her sight because ‘what if word got out?’ and ‘what if Lonnie heard about it?’. Jonathan would glue himself to his hip.

Will groaned audibly and fell back onto his bed. He rubbed his eyes and could feel the bags under them. Jesus, that’s sad. He let out another low grumble and turned over. He could sleep for another few hours, right?

He had almost succumbed to the sweet release of unconsciousness before the phone rang. Loudly. “This is Joyce.” That was normal. “Oh, hi, Mike!” That was not. Will felt his heart stutter in his chest. His throat felt dry. What did he want? “Will! Phone’s for you!”

_Fuck._

“Coming!” He hoped to whatever God was up there that she didn’t hear his voice crack. He reached for the doorknob, but his hand shrank away as if it were hot. What _did_ he want? His steps were slow, eyes wide like a deer in the headlights. Was Mike going to yell at him? Tell him he told everyone? That he never wanted to see him again? He took the phone cautiously and shot his mom a wary glance, but Joyce was already headed out of the room. Will opened his mouth to speak. Nothing came out.

“Hello? Miss Byers? Is Will there?”

Second try. A wheeze. He felt like he was standing on hot coals.

“Will?”

Third time’s the charm.

“Hey, Mike.” He wished he could hang up there. His voice sounded like a whistle.

“Hey…how’s… how’s it going?”

Will almost started crying on the spot. Or screaming. What kind of fucking question was that? And what was he supposed to say? Oh, great! He’d been on and off crying for four days. He hadn’t eaten in 12 hours. There was a point where he thought he’d shrivel up like a raisin if he didn’t drink water after a three hour sob session. And the best part? It was all his own fault for pushing him away.

But if he screamed or cried, he wouldn’t hear the end of it from his mother.

“Fine.” His voice was surprisingly cold, and it seemed like Mike got the message.

“Oh… Well, uh, I was wondering if you could come over—”

A swell of anger. How dare he? “No, _no_ , Mike. I already told you. I can’t _do_ this—”

A shrillness in Mike’s voice. Surprise at Will’s sudden aggravation, he realized. “No wait!”

There was a pause. Will could feel that painful lump forming in his throat. He was so close to slamming the phone. Ending the call. Going back to fucking bed and forgetting this happened.

“Wait, _please_. I need to talk to you. And I can’t do it on the phone. I promise I’m not gonna waste your time or…”

Mike never finished his sentence. Will rolled his eyes. Typical. Will opened his mouth to say ‘good riddance’ before Mike

“I’m not gonna hurt you, Will. Not like last time. Not like the times before. I’m sorry.”

Will froze, arm halfway straightened to hang up the phone. His eyebrows furrowed. Mike had never said anything like that before. He’d never _apologized_. Maybe hearing that was what finally brought tears to Will’s eyes, tears he had to furiously blink away lest his mother see them. 

“I’ll be there in ten minutes.”

Without waiting for a response, Will hung up the phone and stood there in silence, listening to his own thumping heartbeat. His palms were sweaty. His cheeks were hot. Was this… was this it? Maybe. He shouted to his mom that he’d be at Mike’s if she needed anything, and then he was gone. Flying out the door like his life depended on it.

He basically threw himself off of his bike as it reached the Wheelers’ driveway, and he stumbled like a wild animal to the door, pounding on it as soon as he got there. Nancy opened it, and her eyes widened at how disheveled he looked. She’d get used to it. 

“Where’s M—”

“Downstairs,” she said, and that’s all he needed to hear. Will shot her a smile and walked (very quickly, because it was polite _not_ to run inside) to the door to the basement. Miss Wheeler had called a greeting, but he didn’t hear it. He was already halfway down the stairs. She would forgive him. As he reached the last step, he locked eyes with Mike, and like he did four days ago, he wanted to melt where he stood. All of the anger inside of him seemed to dissolve instantly. It wasn’t fair that Mike made him feel like this.

As soon as he put both feet on the basement floor, however, Mike got up from where he was sitting. He was visibly nervous. He was a fraction of disheveled that Will was, but he was fiddling with his hands frantically and his eyes were flitting here and there. It was, honestly, cute.

“Hey, uh, I needed to talk to you.” Mike managed.

Will couldn’t help but try and hold back a dumbass smile. How was he the less nervous one here? “Yeah, you said th—”

“How did you know you were, like, 100% gay?”

“Wait. What?” They hadn’t even sat down yet. Will, stunned into silence for the second time today, moved past Mike and let himself drop onto the couch. After a quick pause, his gaze wandered back up to Mike, who looked like he could cry at any moment from where he was still standing near the stairs.

“How did you know? D-Did you ever like a girl?”

Will thought about it, confusion written all over his face. “Lonnie told me I had to, and I tried when I was younger, but no. Not actually. But why…?” It hit him like a train. Oh, God. Oh, _fuck_. Mike trembled, pale, tears welling in his eyes. “Oh, my God.”

“Mike, did you ever love El?”

Mike, now silently crying, still trembling like a leaf, looked at his hands. 

“I-I thought I did, but… but when you said something about her in… in your bedroom, I freaked out.” Mike began to pace. “I went home, and I _thought_ about it. I thought about it for a long time. Will, I…” He stopped when he trailed off. He looked at Will with such fear that his heart dropped into his stomach. When he croaked out the rest, his voice was small. 

“I don’t think I did.”

Upon saying it out loud, Mike choked out a sob and slid against the wall until he was curled against his knees. Saying it out loud finally made it real. Will got up and sat next to him. Mike almost immediately turned and crumbled into him, wet face finding its place in the crook of Will’s neck. Will didn’t know how he wasn’t crying.

“Mike… it’s okay to find these things out later. It’s not like you wanted to lead her on or anything…”

“I just… I just…” He tried to stammer out between sobs. “It felt like I did. I kissed her, and I thought I liked kissing her, but that was it.” He stopped, chuckled. “Lucas told me it was normal. We were just kids, right? I didn’t _have_ to think about marrying her or anything. So I didn’t. I just wanted to be normal with her.”

Will let silence permeate for a few seconds. “It never clicked that you loved her. Just that you had to?”

“Yeah.” Mike sniffed and turned his head so that his words wouldn’t be muffled by Will’s neck, and he used his shoulder as a pillow. It sent a blush creeping onto Will’s face. “It was like… She was the only girl who showed any interest in me, didn’t think I was ugly, so some part of me latched on and told me it was love. For so many years… I was so convinced until…”

He faltered, swallowing hard. Will turned his head to look at Mike, who was looking right back at him.

“...until I kissed you at that party.” Mike’s voice was small again. Shaky. As if he were the one waiting and aching for approval for so, so long. “I thought that I had loved El for those years. I mean, I… I was feeling love, but it wasn’t for _her_. It was for you, Will.” He glanced away, nervous. 

Meanwhile, Will was about ten seconds from a heart attack. 

“Will?” Mike sounded afraid. He had already been through, unbeknownst the Will, a hellish four days. He was terrified to be faced with another heartbreak. His gaze returned to Will’s.

“All this time you’ve loved….me?”

Mike seemed to run it through in his head again. They were both awkward and tense, waiting for something to happen.

“Yeah, and…I still do.”

Will felt his heart leap not down, but up into his throat. How in hell he hadn’t caught on was a crime. Even while he was dating El, the stolen glances, wanting to be near him, slinging his arm around him whenever possible, asking him if he was okay when he was even a _little_ bit off…it should have been obvious.

“I’ve loved you too, Mike.” Will whispered, a smile beginning to form on his face. In that moment, Mike’s anxiety crumbled, and he let out a relieved sigh. He shifted to cup Will’s face, big tears running down his cheeks again.

“I’m so fucking sorry I was an asshole to you. You deserve so much better and I—”

“It’s okay, it’s okay. I want _you_. It’s been resolved now.”

Mike nodded, smiling through his blubbering. “Can I… Can I kiss you?”

It was as if something had blossomed within Will. The stars were aligned, the world had survived another winter, and the golden gates of heaven had opened before him.

“Yes.”

Mike kissed him softly, but it was with feeling. Finally, _finally_ , there was some goddamn meaning in that perfect kiss of his. Will wrapped his arms around Mike’s neck and smiled into his kiss, letting his eyes flutter shut and a warm feeling of joy engulf him.

Outside the sun was setting, dipping below the horizon and spilling a beautiful display of colors onto the heavens. The peaceful cover of night would soon swallow Hawkins whole. Inside, Mike Wheeler had finally allowed himself to love Will Byers, and Will Byers loved him.


End file.
